Sicky-Ickies

So I just realized it's been a while since I've blogged. I'm so good at this aren't I?

Anyway, EOCs. They're done. Woooo!!!! I think I'm allergic to tests. I vomited during the engineering midterm last year and I got sick during the EOCs this year. I've probably used enough tissues to kill twenty trees. And it's getting worse. I'm sweating like a pig and I fell asleep as soon as I got home and slept until five and didn't feel any better and I need to sleep again. I'm so tired.

Ugh. Drama. Guys, just get along for one more week. ONE MORE WEEK. Stop being dramatic and stop fighting with everyone. I've come two seconds away from blowing up on at least two people in person because of it and it's not going to be pretty if it happens. No one has seen me angry and it's not about to start now.

I have to go to school Monday? What the crap? I have As in all of my classes, I've earned the right to not take my finals and to not show up, so... I'm not going! :)

Okay, why are you stupid enough to pull out a phone during an end of course test? No. Just no. I've lost all respect for you. Not like you care.

So much many plans this summer! I might get to go ice skating when the rink in Nashville reopens and then the park and maybe a picnic... then maybe two jobs to get enough money for an iPhone 5s and enough to save for the Galapagos next year? :3 I gotta spend a week with my dad in Michigan and maybe another week in Chicago with my older sister... let's see how that works out if my plan for two jobs works out.

I feel like doodyballs, so I think I'll just go to bed. 'Night guys! I love you <3

The Great Depression?

Cymbalta can help! Okay... maybe, Prozac?

I'm sitting at the school at 6 in the morning so I have nothing better to do than to blog. So, as we're just ending the Roarin' Twenties and starting the Great Depression in AP US History, I owe the twenties and the Great Depression some memes.

I Apologize

I apologize for my animosity lately. I've been super stressed and anxiety has a habit of creeping up on me and hitting me in the face like a brick wall. Five more weeks left of school, right? Minus two for exams, which leaves like three normal weeks. It'll all be over soon.

I apologize for being either super happy or super sad. Not something I can really help. I'm just at this point where I'm so sad I'm just playing happy so I don't cry. I guess the people I'm trying to explain this to don't even read my blog though, do they?

I apologize for singing my favorite songs. I've recently fallen in love with One Direction (go figure) and this song Little Talks by Of Monsters and Men. And when I really get into a song I just sing it but I irritate people around me when I do. So, sorry.

I apologize for complaining. And venting, or whatever you want to call it. I'll save venting for my blog from now on, okay?

I apologize for being kind of a cruddy friend lately. I love you but I'm just so confused right now and I feel so alone. Sorry if I take it out on you.

I apologize for screwing up my cheesecake. I made a third one for Easter this weekend and I finally made it not crack in the middle. How, you ask? I know, it seems impossible, but I just baked it in a waterbath, right? Well, no matter how tightly I wrapped the bottom of my springform pan with aluminum foil, water just leaked right through the bottom and made the outer edge of my crust soggy. It tasted so good and the inner crust was crunchy and sweet and it was like the best ever but then the edge was just like poop.

I apologize for suddenly cooking and baking. For the first time in forever (totally didn't just steal that from Frozen) I feel like I'm getting something right. When I can cook something that tastes good I just feel so happy. And then I screw up an Easter cheesecake and never want to cook again.

I apologize for apologizing. I say sorry a lot. I have a lot of things to be sorry for, but half of them you don't know about.

I apologize for being so distracted.

I apologize for hating you for one second and loving you the next.

And I'm sorry I pushed you away.

But I'm more sorry that this cheesecake almost didn't turn out!!!

Moment of Silence

My favorite comedian in the whole wide world, John Pinette, has passed away five days ago at the age of fifty. He was too good at what he did and he loved his job. That's all <3

Storms

So basically, I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight. Storms at 12am-3am? Yeah, no. I hate storms. They scare the crap out of me. I'm like a little doggie that hides under the bed whenever there's thunder. It's not really a storm that scares me-I like to go outside and watch them. It's just like, what if a tornado rolls through and gets me family or someone I care about? And yeah, the thunder does bug me. I don't have any control in those types of situation. I guess you could say I'm afraid of any situation I don't feel like I have any control over. I think that's why I like cooking so much. I have control over the food I make. If I do the recipe right, then I make some good food. But if my recipe doesn't turn out (which hasn't happened to me yet,) then I'll probably get pretty upset and quit cooking/baking for a while. I feel like I have control over my relationships, which is probably why I don't get panicked in social situations unless I'm with total strangers. I like it when people like me but I always feel like they don't, like I need to have control over that? I dunno. I'm also scared that I won't ever find anyone. Like today, I was just like, I haven't ever kissed anyone. Ever. Isn't that kind of embarrassing for high school? I don't want to kiss someone just to kiss someone but I just wish that someone would want to kiss me.

Life and Other Things

Hey guisseeeee

I know I blogged like ten seconds ago but I found my notes that had the info for the Kenwood Karnival on it.

It's Saturday, April 12th, 9am-2pm. Sophomore SGA REALLY needs helping hands and volunteers to help set up and clean up so if you'd like to help out with that, talk to Mrs. Sims or Ms. Slagle. We're doing like an Easter egg hunt and cotton candy and inflatables and a cake walk and a vendor craft fair and carnival games and prizes and everything. It's going to be so good!!!

Stress: learn how to deal with it. Stop self harming and smoking and drinking and doing drugs and doing people and stuff. Get a hobby. Go for a walk. Play a video game. Talk to people. Vent. Scream into your pillow. Be happy! Pwwweeeeeeeaaaaaaasssssseeeeeeee, do it for me? :) You're beautiful but I'm sure you didn't need me to tell you that. All it takes is for one sad person to be happy and then there's a big huge cool chain reaction and then everybody's happy and everything is awesome and we can all be a big happy family and just hug each other for the rest of the year and love each other and be happy and yesh :3



 Pssst... boring stuff ahead!



I'm dying for you to look at me. To approach me. To talk to me. To touch me. To hug me. To really look at me. To fall in love with my eyes the way everyone else seems to. To stop feeling sorry for me. To love me. To love me because I'm cute and cuddly and... vulnerable. To protect me. To kiss me. Even if it's just on the cheek. On the lips?  To brush my cheek. To hold me. To tell me everything's going to be okay. To argue with me when I tell you it isn't. To take two seconds to genuinely look at me and discover things you didn't notice before. My insecurities. My vulnerabilities. My love. For you. For everything. Stop looking through me, it kills me every time you do it. If you're going to look through me then don't bother looking at me at all. Don't bother acknowledging me. I don't want you to talk to me because you pity me. I didn't ask for your sympathy. If anything just remember that I love you. Not what people say or think about you. Not people's expectations of you. Not what you think of you. I love you. I love everything about you. All your curves and all your edges. All your perfect imperfections. Totally didn't just take that from a song <3

Love

I LOVE EVERYBODY IF YOU WANT ME TO.

That is all <3
Goodnight!~

Guilty Pleasures

Here's a list of a few of my guilty pleasures:

1. Cooking

     I like the feeling of accomplishing something. If I can cook something and at the very least it tastes good, I'm happy. If it tastes good AND looks good, then bonus points. I like making stuff and sharing it with other people. I don't like to eat alone. It's no fun.

2. Sleep

     The chance to escape from reality, even if it's only for a few hours.

3. Writing

     Distracting myself from what's going on.

4. Pictures

     Looking at happy people and wishing I could be them.

5. Food

     It just tastes so goooooooooood! :D

6. Friends

     I mean like, real friends. The friends that make you feel good about yourself. The friends that take the time to listen to you vent and stick around when you try to push them away. The friends who are there for you when you are at your lowest. If you are one of these people, you know who you are. *cough* Hannah *cough* I love chu gurl <3

     Also, the tv show Friends :3

John Pinette

Watching John Pinette at 11:43 pm. #thuglylife

"Okay, so the lady says I'm allergic to wheat. Guess I can't be a wheat farmer anymore. Well wait, isn't wheat what makes flour? I decide to question her more. 'Do you eat gluten?' I don't know what gluten is, but I'm just going to say yes, and LOT'S OF IT. 'Well, avoid anything with gluten.' I go to the health store and find the 'gluten free' section. Once you find the guy with the gun in his mouth, you've found the gluten free section, BECAUSE BULLETS DON'T HAVE GLUTEN. GLUTEN'S IN EVERYTHING. I WAKE UP NOW AND I HAVE NO REASON TO LIVE. Ever had gluten free pasta? Regular pasta takes 10 minutes in boiling water, some olive oil, some salt, and presto! Gluten free pasta? 90 MINUTES. ENJOY."

I love John Pinette. Watch him on Netflix. I don't want to give too much away.

Guess what day it is???? #humpdayyyyy

Hope you guys are having a good spring break! Can't wait to spend some time with friends next week <3

Cheesecake

My first attempt at cheesecake resulted in a delicious mess. There were two huge cracks running down the middle but I don't have my iPod with me at the moment so I don't have any pictures. My eating it gave me a huge cheesecake mustache, because I'm too lazy to eat cheesecake with a fork, so I just shove it in my mouth instead. Fun, right? :)

Café de Jordan

And now the subject of my blog: food!

Using a little bit of creative ingenuity (and a lot of YouTube "How to's"), I've managed to successfully bake a lasagna and cut a pineapple into chunks. My lasagna was exquisite, if I do say so myself. Next on the menu: cheesecake! Madi, you're going to murder me, but I'm making it now and I can't really give you a piece. I'm not sure if that's good or bad but if I can get the stuff to make another one like the day before school starts, I will <3

 This lasagna was soooo good. Half of it is gone and it hasn't even been 24 hours yet. I swear I must have put at least 40 lbs of cheese on this thing. A quote from my mom, "It's the cheese that makes the lasagna." I could turn that into some really beautiful, deep, philosophical quote, but when I tried, it sounded more like this, "What kind of cheese is in me? Is it good cheese or moldy cheese? Parmesan, Mozzarella, Cheddar, Pepper Jack (at least I'd like to think I'm a little spicy), Monterrey Jack, Ricotta? Am I finely shredded or am I just regularly shredded? Or am I a block?" So yeah. I was hoping for a "It's the miles that make the man" sort of thing but it really didn't come out that way. #SpringBreak

Okay guys, before I brutally murdered the pineapple with that huge knife and potato peeler on either corner of the table, I read it its funeral rights. It's supposed to make the pineapple taste sweeter. I think I got to the part where I said "Make your objections now or forever hold your peace" before I realized I was reading the marriage rights. Whatever. Then I got to work! Fresh pineapple is THE BEST. I don't even do anything with it but m-mm-mmmm, nature sure does know how to cook up some sweet stuff.

I've got ingredients for cheesecake, and that's probably coming up tonight. It's supposed to take a while to cook and cool down but with the lasagna I made the mistake of not letting it cool down before serving it: hot mess. Not happening with the cheesecake. Hopefully it turns out!! I can't wait :D

I hope you guys are enjoying your #SpringBreak! It's a Monday but it sure doesn't feel like one :3

Tests

My sister Amber has a college professor who always made this joke:
      He called his quizzes "quizees." They were so impossible that only one or two people got an A every time. After his first "quizee," he said "if you guys don't like my quizees, just wait until you see my "testes!"

Needless to say (but I'm going to say it anyway), we had a lot of tests today. Honestly I'm glad we had them before spring break and not after, but dang. The English and Chemistry tests weren't too hard-but I do my stressing after the test, not before. Oh well.

Guess what guys? SPRING BREAK!!!! I'm not sure if I'm happy about that though. I mean, a week off is good, but I have work to catch up on and I won't see any of my friends until we go back to school, 'cause I'm lame :P

I've been doing some planning, and you guys, we have a Kenwood Karnival. With a K. With carnival games and everything. It's sponsored by SGA and I'm hoping it's going to be a success. It's in April. Be there or be square! I'll post some updates later when we get the details finalized. I'm really involved in it so I really really really hope we get a great turnout. Everyone is invited!

That's all for now! Hope you guys enjoy spring break!

The Not-So-Dramatic Comeback

I've really learned a lot since the last time I made a post. It's been a while! I'd like to think that I've matured in a year but sometimes it feels like I'm going backwards. I'll have to invest a lot more time into blogging so I don't make the same mistake I did the first time. I still have a long way to go, so here goes nothing!

I've got a lot on my mind so I'll try to keep this from getting all jumbled up.

So, am I the only person having that moment where you look down at the bottom of your gmail and it still says 0% used? At this point I'm trying to get it filled up to 1%. #firstworldproblems

We've been talking a lot about the British and the Opium War in history, so I guess I owe them a meme.

Also, I have all these pictures I gave Hannah for her blog, but if she doesn't use them soon, I'll use them. Hannah, if you're reading this, I'm giving you an ultimatum. I'm just not sure how much time I'm giving you on the ultimatum. 

Oh, and this is me during JROTC in seventh period.

Also, Legally Blonde.

I've got a lot of work to catch up on. I have three chapters to read for history and so much English work, yet I'm still working on this post. Thanks a lot Aimee! ;)

I'm apologizing in advance to everyone in advance for my irritated behavior. There's a lot of stuff going on right now and I might come off as rude and I'm sorry. Eventually my posts will be more organized and stuff but until then, deal with it! :3