Storms

So basically, I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight. Storms at 12am-3am? Yeah, no. I hate storms. They scare the crap out of me. I'm like a little doggie that hides under the bed whenever there's thunder. It's not really a storm that scares me-I like to go outside and watch them. It's just like, what if a tornado rolls through and gets me family or someone I care about? And yeah, the thunder does bug me. I don't have any control in those types of situation. I guess you could say I'm afraid of any situation I don't feel like I have any control over. I think that's why I like cooking so much. I have control over the food I make. If I do the recipe right, then I make some good food. But if my recipe doesn't turn out (which hasn't happened to me yet,) then I'll probably get pretty upset and quit cooking/baking for a while. I feel like I have control over my relationships, which is probably why I don't get panicked in social situations unless I'm with total strangers. I like it when people like me but I always feel like they don't, like I need to have control over that? I dunno. I'm also scared that I won't ever find anyone. Like today, I was just like, I haven't ever kissed anyone. Ever. Isn't that kind of embarrassing for high school? I don't want to kiss someone just to kiss someone but I just wish that someone would want to kiss me.