The Great Depression?

Cymbalta can help! Okay... maybe, Prozac?

I'm sitting at the school at 6 in the morning so I have nothing better to do than to blog. So, as we're just ending the Roarin' Twenties and starting the Great Depression in AP US History, I owe the twenties and the Great Depression some memes.

I Apologize

I apologize for my animosity lately. I've been super stressed and anxiety has a habit of creeping up on me and hitting me in the face like a brick wall. Five more weeks left of school, right? Minus two for exams, which leaves like three normal weeks. It'll all be over soon.

I apologize for being either super happy or super sad. Not something I can really help. I'm just at this point where I'm so sad I'm just playing happy so I don't cry. I guess the people I'm trying to explain this to don't even read my blog though, do they?

I apologize for singing my favorite songs. I've recently fallen in love with One Direction (go figure) and this song Little Talks by Of Monsters and Men. And when I really get into a song I just sing it but I irritate people around me when I do. So, sorry.

I apologize for complaining. And venting, or whatever you want to call it. I'll save venting for my blog from now on, okay?

I apologize for being kind of a cruddy friend lately. I love you but I'm just so confused right now and I feel so alone. Sorry if I take it out on you.

I apologize for screwing up my cheesecake. I made a third one for Easter this weekend and I finally made it not crack in the middle. How, you ask? I know, it seems impossible, but I just baked it in a waterbath, right? Well, no matter how tightly I wrapped the bottom of my springform pan with aluminum foil, water just leaked right through the bottom and made the outer edge of my crust soggy. It tasted so good and the inner crust was crunchy and sweet and it was like the best ever but then the edge was just like poop.

I apologize for suddenly cooking and baking. For the first time in forever (totally didn't just steal that from Frozen) I feel like I'm getting something right. When I can cook something that tastes good I just feel so happy. And then I screw up an Easter cheesecake and never want to cook again.

I apologize for apologizing. I say sorry a lot. I have a lot of things to be sorry for, but half of them you don't know about.

I apologize for being so distracted.

I apologize for hating you for one second and loving you the next.

And I'm sorry I pushed you away.

But I'm more sorry that this cheesecake almost didn't turn out!!!

Moment of Silence

My favorite comedian in the whole wide world, John Pinette, has passed away five days ago at the age of fifty. He was too good at what he did and he loved his job. That's all <3

Storms

So basically, I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight. Storms at 12am-3am? Yeah, no. I hate storms. They scare the crap out of me. I'm like a little doggie that hides under the bed whenever there's thunder. It's not really a storm that scares me-I like to go outside and watch them. It's just like, what if a tornado rolls through and gets me family or someone I care about? And yeah, the thunder does bug me. I don't have any control in those types of situation. I guess you could say I'm afraid of any situation I don't feel like I have any control over. I think that's why I like cooking so much. I have control over the food I make. If I do the recipe right, then I make some good food. But if my recipe doesn't turn out (which hasn't happened to me yet,) then I'll probably get pretty upset and quit cooking/baking for a while. I feel like I have control over my relationships, which is probably why I don't get panicked in social situations unless I'm with total strangers. I like it when people like me but I always feel like they don't, like I need to have control over that? I dunno. I'm also scared that I won't ever find anyone. Like today, I was just like, I haven't ever kissed anyone. Ever. Isn't that kind of embarrassing for high school? I don't want to kiss someone just to kiss someone but I just wish that someone would want to kiss me.