Yard Work

So I woke up at noon today, and my mom kicked me out of the house and made me do yard work. That crap is dangerous! A wasp flew in my face and almost stung me. I've never been stung by a wasp before! I COULD BE ALLERGIC!! I COULD'VE DIED!

So I took a safer route and started pruning the bushes by my mom's mailbox. Some crazy lunatic comes speeding down a hill and down by my street in a car, so I get out of the way until it passes. I figure it's safe to start pruning again since clearly there's a sign that says "Dead End" and that they won't be coming the other way again. I cut a branch overhanging the mailbox and it landed in the middle of the road, so I go to pick it up. When I am CLEARLY bent over in the middle of the road, these retards come back around and speed in the other direction. THE SPEED LIMIT ON MY ROAD IS LIKE 10 MPH. CLEARLY, they were going faster than that. So, they swerved out of the way at the last second and avoided hitting me. Too bad they missed.